


Enough

by JustAndrea



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Gen, Splinter is a good dad, but he also definitely has depression, self reflection, spoilers for Shadow of Evil somewhat, thinking back on the good old days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 03:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18842377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAndrea/pseuds/JustAndrea
Summary: There are many things he's lost, many things he wishes he could change... But for what he has left - what he has now - he feels like that's enough.





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a couple weeks ago on Tumblr (fanfic-inator795) when I was feeling depressed about my original writing skills and ended up writing this on a whim both because the idea was in my head for a while and just because I wanted to prove that I could still write something decent, aaaand I'm just now getting around to posting it here on AO3, heh. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy it!

As the bright full moon rose towards its peak, a lone hunter made his way back to his underground sanctuary.

…Well, maybe ‘hunting’ was a bit generous. Really it was more like ‘dumpster diving grocery shopping’ with the occasional swipe from an unguarded truck. 

Even so, Splinter was satisfied with his haul. Lots of canned food, their dented containers thankfully unopened, as well a couple frozen pizzas and boxes of crackers that he managed to grab from a delivery van stopping at a nearby bodega. Yes, they would eat very well, at least until the next ‘shopping’ trip. They still had plenty of ramen cups and slightly stale bread from the last trip, but Splinter always took a special sort of pride in bringing his sons something truly yummy to eat.

And speaking of his sons… Tucking his spoils under an arm, picking whatever wouldn’t fit up with his long tail, he moved the makeshift door to the side with his other arm and walked into his humble home. “Oh boyyyyyys!” Splinter called out, just as he always did. He would make his return known, and his sons would rush him for hugs, usually sneaking a peek inside whatever bags and boxes their father brought home. 

This time however, there was no stampede of little turtle feet. Not even a reply to his call.

Splinter frowned. “Boys!” he said, a bit louder now. He had begun to worry when he heard his oldest finally reply. 

“Hey Pop! We’re in the living ro-” The snapper was quickly cut off by hollers and cheers from his brothers. 

“Huh…” Were they playing some game? Or maybe they found an interesting comic book floating through the murky tunnels. Curious, Splinter worked quickly to put their groceries away before making his way to the center of their home. “What are you four doing?” he asked as he poked his head through the doorway-

**_“HOT SOUUUUUUUP!”_ **

Splinter froze.

…No. Not Splinter. Not in that moment, at least.  _Lou Jitsu_  froze. The small silhouettes of his boys were blurred, the warm light from the old machine and its all encompassing projection shining brightly on the stone wall. Lou could only stare as he watched his reflection - younger, taller and certainly more foolish - kick a couple extras off-screen, his grin as cocky as ever.

“Leo an’ me found it!” he heard Mikey explain, his usual bright grin (along with the occasional crayon or paint streak) present on his face despite his rat dad’s shocked silence, “An’ Donnie figured out how to make it work and how to put the movie wheel in and everything! And this one is about this guy named Lou Jitsu! Isn’t it cool?!”

“Actually it was  _Leo’s_  idea to mess with it, sooooo-” Donnie added, feigning innocence in case their father was angry with him for snooping through the boxes he kept in his corner of their home - the boxes he had grabbed from a storage unit several months ago, though hadn’t shared with the boys what was in them. 

This action also earned him an indignant squawk from his twin. “Nuh uh, you’re the one who wanted to see if you could make it work!” the slider argued. As the two began to argue and Raph stepped in to make sure the fight didn’t escalate, Lou just continued to stare at the screen.  

It was like looking through one of those time portal things from a Jupiter Jim movie he remembered watching long ago. Remembering… He remembered the hum of the cameras, the heat of the set lights, the undying praise of the film crew and nearby fans alike. He remembered how  _good_  and  _right_  it felt to be in his own body, his epic martial arts moves as familiar as breathing.

Lou clenched his fists tightly, a dull ache now in his furry chest. His head nearly felt numb, old memories continuing to swirl beside with bittersweet emotions like stirring cheap margarita mix with cough syrup. And yet, his eyes refused to look away from the screen. He wasn’t sure when his feet started moving on their own, his body close enough to cast a shadow over the film. Close enough to touch history. 

His double continued to fight and make cheesy one liners without a care in the world, his sunglasses catching the light perfectly. He seemed invincible, back then… Funny how life likes to prove you wrong in the most devastating ways. 

What had he been thinking back then? What had he been thinking when he had shot his last film, not knowing then that it WOULD be his last film? Lou wasn’t sure, though he could bet it was something about finishing the current scene as soon as possible so he could make it to some party or street race or a date with whatever beautiful starlet or hollywood hunk that was willing. 

Those times had been fun, really REALLY fun… But Lou still couldn’t help but resent his younger self for not appreciating those moments of movie magic more. If only he knew back then that he was actually going to end up missing those long days and seemingly endless retakes along with the premieres and the fame and the cheers.

But that life was gone, wasn’t it? Existing only in pictures and memories and old rolls of film…

“…Papa?”

A small voice finally pulled Lou out of his thoughts, his eyes blinking for the first time in what seemed like ages as he managed to look away from the movie, though the projected frames still danced across the side of his head, only stopping when it hit his shadow. 

Small eyes filled with innocent concern and half-framed with red met his gaze. “What’s wrong?” Leo asked, tilting his head a bit, “This is a good movie! A really good one! So, how come you look so sad?”

Lou felt himself take a small step back, another sort of ache hitting his chest. The eyes of not just his second youngest but all of his children continued to stay directly on him, curious and a bit confused. 

_How come you look so sad?_

Letting a moment pass, Lou swallowed… and then smiled as hard as he could. 

“Aha, Papa just- really REALLY likes this movie! It- It is one of my favorites, actually!” The rat then feigned a scowl. “And you would watch your father’s favorite movie without him? Shame on you all!”

“Aww, it’s okay, Pop! We can just start it over,” Raph told him, “and then we can all watch it together!” The snapper paused. “…We can start it over, right Donnie?”

“Uh huh, it’s easy!” Donnie nodded, allowing a bit of pride slip into his voice as he began moving towards the aging device.

His brothers grinned, nowhere near annoyed at having to sit through scenes again. “I wanna watch it again anyway,” Leo told them, “There’s this one part where the Lou Jitsu guy throws these two mean guys right into their bowls of soup!”

Despite himself, Lou let out a small chuckle. “Wow, sounds exciting. Well then, let’s get this show…  _rolling_ , hm?” he said as he gestured to the projector. Leo giggled while his other three sons groaned. 

Once the film was rewound and the credits began flashing across the stone wall, his boys didn’t hesitate to cuddle up next to him in his plush chair. Raph on his lap, Leo and Donnie by his sides, and Mikey sitting comfortably on top of his furry head, the only one of his children still small enough to do so.

“This is gonna be great!” Mikey grinned, nuzzling his father’s hair before cheering, “Hot souuuuuup!” 

“HOT SOUUUUUUP!” his brothers echoed. Lou - no,  _Splinter_  chuckled again, his yellow eyes now burning slightly, but his smile never faltering.

His movie star days were long behind him, there was no denying that.  No studio would hire a short, fat rat to star in a kung fu movie, and even if they did, Splinter wouldn’t risk it. After all, he had far more to lose these days, things more important than his reputation or a few handfuls of cash. Much,  _much_  more important…

The past would forever be the past, but he could still share it with his sons, even if he swore to himself to never let them know the full truth. And, as he listened to his children’s cheers and awe inspired comments as the opening fight scene played on, their small bodies snuggling closer to him as all five of them settled in, Splinter decided that  _that_  really was enough for him. 

“…I wanna be a cool an’ strong hero like Lou Jitsu,” he heard Raphael say as said hero leapt off his motorcycle and punched two on-coming enemies right in the jaw.

Splinter hummed. “Maybe… When you’re all grown up, of course.”

“Awwww.”

**THE END**


End file.
